Okay, it may not be quite that easy, but a little self-awareness goes a long way. So read on for some tips to get you over the fear and onto that first date.
Kissing has its place in dating
Photo by: John Miller
Of course you don’t want to rush the first kiss, but there’s no need to play games. Before you get too down on yourself for not initiating a peck on the cheek, take a deep breath, and give yourself a round of applause for making the first move.
From a romantic standpoint, a kiss is a big deal. So why not go for it? It’s easy to take for granted how common a good kiss is. I’m talking about a peck on the cheek that lasts a few seconds, while your date really pulls you into him. Of course, it helps if you’ve got really great hair.
If a kiss doesn’t do it for you, that’s okay. It’s not going to be your only kiss on the first date, so don’t let the first one rule your whole first-date experience. Even if the kiss doesn’t lead to sex, it’s a great icebreaker. I’ve actually had dates where I’ve had a great first date but the kiss wasn’t that great, and it’s not a dealbreaker.
So if you’re a little hesitant about the kiss, why not just kiss both his cheeks? Or go for something a little safer: a peck on the cheek, or a soft hug? These aren’t too intimidating, and if he’s into it, he’ll be more than happy to reciprocate.
It’s just a social thing
Photo by: Charles Deblieck
Remember that first date is just a social thing. So don’t worry that your best date ever is going to find you irresistible. Dating is a social thing, and that means you’re going to have to put up with some bad first dates (or first halves, if you want to get technical).
First dates are about connecting and getting to know someone. If you allow yourself to get swept up in the excitement of the moment, you’re going to miss out on the chance to know the other person and to see if you like them.
These days, online dating has made getting to know someone easier than ever. If you’re meeting for the first time, the internet is a http://www.filipina-bride.com/articles/top-facts-about-thai-hookups-get-laid-with-horny-asian-girls
This is not dating advice. If you’re looking for that, check out the Ask a Guy, Ask a Girl archives. These are a lot more targeted and will help you put yourself out there and get what you want. This is about helping you get comfortable with the modern dating scene, so you feel more confident and aren’t afraid of putting yourself out there.
Rule #1: Have Fun
Just because you’re online dating doesn’t mean you have to get out of your comfort zone, just expect to have fun. Even if you don’t meet your soulmate, having an interesting, fun conversation over a few drinks or, heck, even a coffee is worth more than trying to go to a bar you don’t really like or one where you’ve been before. Ask friends who have been dating for years to show you some cool places. Or look up cool events your friends have talked about and check them out.
Rule #2: Be Nice
Have a good time, but don’t be sleazy. Nobody likes a jerk. If someone is approaching you or your friends—and, if they’re in your social circles, you should have the right to throw someone out of your group—be polite and move away from them. It’s better to back off than to antagonize people, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a drink-throwing arrest. Don’t treat dating like going out to see a band. That’s not why you’re there, and if you always expect a date to be a band gig, you may be in for some disappointment.
Rule #3: Search the Web
Do you want to date someone who’s not right in front of you? Then use the Internet. If you’re not comfortable using it, ask your friends to search for you. They can look at your profile, contact you if you’re listed as online, and your friends can lead you to some awesome people if you’re still struggling. Here are a few good resources to get you started:
OkCupid: While OkCupid isn’t a dating site, it’s popular, and a lot of OkCupid users go on the site to find someone to date. You can message people, see who’s online and chat with potential dates (though you can’t text or IM on the site). There are also subscription-based premium dating sites like Elite Singles, but they’re really only for serious relationships.