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|Update||(11 days ago)|
The tittering tit cult has reigned over half of the galaxy for over a million years. It has upstaged the mighty universe, snapping its mighty stars, grabbing its galactic supremacy and reduced many to the status of the lowly tit. The tit cult, led by the deranged Buttlerian Sisterhood, is all but destroying a worthy swath of the cosmos.
However, the tit cult isn’t ready to settle and let the galaxy lay in peace. It must be blasted to its knees, and down! It is up to you, brave Cosmo Commando, to deliver the coup de grace of titdom! Will you protect the galaxy’s ass or exterminate the blasphemous tit cult?
Tit bashing missions are full of strange creatures, who will do anything but treat you, the trusted Cosmo Commando, with respect. An Urch, a Toot and a dozen other nasties make your life difficult. You’ll have to survive a myriad of natural disasters and incredibly tough bosses. You’ll have to crush hundreds of minions in tit wielding traps and giant tit statues! And you’ll have to backstab your favorite star system’s major asshead of a primary Council, assuring him you’ll do whatever it takes to bring down the tit cult.
In many levels you’ll discover that there are many ways to accomplish a mission, creating a dangerous situation for a tit-loving soldier. You’ll have to be creative to survive. You’ll have to use your wits, your tools and your wang to achieve victory. Are you man enough to stop the blasphemous tit cult and become immortal ass protector?
Play to survive! Play to win! Play to free the galaxy from the cruel and endlessly man-hating tit cult.
Hakuna matata, Long live the big ass!
You are a Cosmo Commando. You are an ass protector.
Your mission in Lovehammer 400 000 is to vanquish the tit cult.
They are deranged and have taken over half of the galaxy.
They must be stopped! Fight to the end! Crush the vile tit cult once and for all!
– Full of tactical enemies and mystical enemies!
– Intense turn-based combat!
– Hardcore action!
– Destructible landscape, planetary anomalies and foe manipulation!
– Undying love for female ass!
– Diverse missions with challenging objectives!
– Memorable Equipment!
– Lots of exclamation signs in the description!