Casual sex is, actually, pretty good for us, in the long run. It can certainly help improve your health and well-being, and may even help you live longer. Contrary to popular belief, most casual sex does not lead to more STDs than you’d expect to have in a traditional relationship (the main exception is herpes, which may have a higher rate of transmission than previously believed, says Freddie Weishaupt, a health policy expert and expert on dating apps).
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It also has the potential to make the kind of relationship you want to have happen, with the person you want to be with. But the more casual sex that you have, the less “serious” your relationship is likely to be. Once you’ve been sexually intimate with someone you see as outside the relationship, it becomes even less likely that you’ll see them again in that context. The great thing about having casual sex is that you have a shot at finding what relationship you want — the problem is that you’ll know that it’s just sex.
Want to know what he really thinks about you? You probably aren’t going to get answers. But neither should you settle for just one or two people to date. If you think you want to have your first casual sex experience with one person, you probably have met more than one person, and haven’t settled on one yet.
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If you’re looking to have casual sex with someone as a regular part of your relationship, you’ll benefit from seeking out additional partners to date. And the happy reminder is, you’re probably meeting more people that you like than you think — and you’ll probably meet people that you really, really like, too.
Inevitably casual sex does come with a number of feelings. The feeling that you’re just not that important to the person. The feeling that your sexual experiences with them are not really a reflection of who you are. The feeling that if sex isn’t “wanted,” then it doesn’t really count. The feeling that you’re not a good person.
But how do you deal with these emotions when you’re having casual sex?
When it comes to figuring out how to deal with your feelings about having casual sex, try this: Put on your “lion mask” and pretend that everything is exactly as it should be, says Yvette van Rossem, PhD, a relationship and family psychologist, author of “No Fairytale Ending:
It’s really difficult to answer that question; there are some negative aspects to casual sex, and there are definitely positive ones. So as always, it’s a question of the personal situation and its context. Here are some of the problems associated with casual sex.
Admitting you’re a sexual being and having good boundaries is one of the first steps toward avoiding casual sex. I’m sure you’ve already heard a million times — and will probably hear more — that having casual sex is bad for your health. But that’s all it is — sex. You could possibly end up with an STI if your boundaries are bad, but you can also just meet someone great and maybe fall in love.
It can be helpful to monitor your sexual health, and if you feel that your risk is too high, hook up with someone you know, or a condom. And of course, always be aware of the potential consequences of casual sex — birth control and STD prevention tools are widely available, so you have to be proactive with your sexual health.
You could still contract an STI and end up very, very pregnant.
Sure, you may not want to have sex with someone you don’t know, but what about if they just start hitting you or slapping you? Worse, what about if the person you’re having sex with pushes you away and then starts physically assaulting you?
There are safe ways to approach and ask someone if they’re ok to have sex with you, but you may not always have a choice.
You can get an STI from casual sex, and there’s no safe way to contract one. Do you want to risk it? There are various apps to make that risk easier to calculate and a little safer. With those kind of tools, casual sex is no longer a sure-fire way to get an STI.
But you can still get an STI from a non-hookup scenario: Have sex with an unknown person. This depends on how much you’re willing to put up with the risk.
Although general safer sex is fairly simple to use, casual sex with no penetration is more complicated and may be of lower efficacy in dealing with the risk of STIs. Here’s why:
Multiple exposures to the bodily fluids of other people make it more likely that you might encounter an infection. You will also not know how recently you have had sex with a new partner. If you have a high number of partners, this could mean that your risk